Dr. Leon Banister, Jr.

I didn’t plan for this. Not like this.

When I pictured my future, sure — I imagined being with someone I loved.
I knew our time wouldn’t look like other couples’, but I still thought we’d have more good years before life changed so drastically.

I didn’t imagine becoming a full-time caregiver in my 40s. I didn’t imagine bathing someone I love, managing meds, waking up at 3 a.m. to check for signs of pain or confusion. I didn’t imagine explaining our relationship to hospital staff who assume I’m “just a friend.” I didn’t imagine losing sleep over paperwork, supplies, and discharge plans — while still trying to hold onto some sliver of normal life.

But life started "lifing".

And when it did, I stayed.

Not because it was easy. Not because I was ready. But because I love him. Because he’s still him — even when he’s confused, even when he’s hurting, even when the days blur together and we’re both tired beyond words. He’s still the man I fell in love with. And somewhere under the stress and mess, we’re still us.

This isn’t the future I planned, but it’s the one I’m in. And some days, it breaks me. But other days — like tonight — it grounds me. I stayed in the room while he fell asleep. I refolded some shirts I’d messed up earlier. I didn’t do anything big or dramatic. We just existed in the same space, quietly. And that meant something.

I didn’t plan for this.

But here I am.

And for now, that’s enough.